that shy girl

do you ever just wonder what it’s like to be dead?

so i made a new blog. by looking at this one and comparing it with the other, you would never know i am the same person. the other covered in glamorous, sexy photos. drugs, sex.. fame. i kinda make myself look like a huge party girl.. on the outside.

party girl. yeah i live in the moment. for the adventure. why should i let anyone stop me?

in high school i got this horrible reputation.. girls were jealous of me because a lot of the guys found me attractive.. i didn’t even care.. i didn’t want them. i wanted someone else. the girls started rumors about me, sent me hate mail, and prank called me all the time. and the calls weren’t just funny pranks.. they hit deep. piercing comments. i had never even kissed, hugged, or even held hands with a boy at that time! i had the reputation as a whore.. when i was certainly a virgin. quiet.. i never really tried talking to the girls in my grade, they would always roll their eyes, they just treated me horribly.. there’s a ton more to the story of my life.. but anyways

today, here I am. gone through anorexia, now suffering of bulimia.. on at least four medications to help with my anxiety and depression. i’ve let myself get a dui and put my parents through hell with my pot, pill, and dxm use. i feel like i’m just here to destruct..